the goblin's bog

[fleamailman]

Goblins by nature are those people who play around with comp-bits as opposed to witches who are more into codes, or clairvoyants who delve into HJT logs to remove malware, though that is not to say that each doesn't know a fair deal about the other fields it is just that their type shows. Perhaps this was as good a place to start as any thought the goblin who had been working in a cave(shop) in Geneva doing repairs and malware removal for some time before he had had to stop working because his mother at 86 had quickly sunk into old age and memory lose and the choice between an old age home at x amount per week(thus having to sell the house) or just looking after her himself, made him choose the later then. The goblin felt that this would also be a good chance to write and relate this experience to others, hence he has started this thread.

[fleamailman]

1)"Thanks", the gobliin replied to his friends who had replied on this thread and whose BSE had grown somewhat evident of late, that is BSE as in British System of Education but what could he do he thought. He had of late wondered if this sudden tranformation into a goblin had something to do with, well seven hours of comp'repair followed a sleepless night of replying to on boards about comps. Anyway, he had been a good goblin because he knew that if you weren't you would end up being given ten Secondary school teacher's here in Goonville(geneva) and asked to teach them how to send an email, something like:

school report1, Proffy finds his work very challenging,
school report2, Proffy has mastered Outlook express but alas from there he finds his work challenging,
3, Proffy would like to return to the beginning to assess the situation,
6, Proffy has not come to class this month,
10, Proffy has learned mspaint instead,
20, Proffy cannot look at a computer without seeing it as an instrument of torture,
30, Proffy thinks that the decline of witchhunting in the middleages was a big mistake,
50, Proffy wonders how the School board ever let the big Ork(boss) perswade them that goblins(techs) and teachers can survive in a classroom setting,
70, Proffy wonders why the goblin hasn't noticed that you can't write on the blackboard with a screwdriver,
90, Poffy wonders why goblins often throw back their hands and screwdrivers in defeat,
school report1,000,000 Proffy sees that the goblin has bunked off to his fiends at madam coffeeshopclub to become a blog writer, etc., etc.," related the goblin whose soul wish was to remember, even slightly, what he had been originally saying.

[fleamailman]

3)"...thanks for your reply here..." said the goblin and then had to return to a comp that he could kill today, he had after all tried spybot, adaware, and ewido only to have the virus copy the words of Martin Luther "Here I stay so help God" meaning that he tried Vundo fix, which got ride of the outward effects, his reward as ever was to check my mail to see if our good friends from rain'ile sur mer(UK) had posted something coded in very visual basic for him, to which he was not disappointed; however, he thought it would be a good idea to run spyboot one last time to which it cleared all but one file entry reply :...Spybot could not remove this Donald Ducking entry, would you care have it done on reboot.." a question rather like would you care to stop breathing he thought, and on reboot, up pops the safety mode choice, and from there 'the black void of eternal wait' had arrived. Add, to this that this is an Acer where one can't seem to changed the bootsequence to start my repair for XP cd, and one gets some idea of how his black mood contrast well this bright day. Somehow this goblin just wished that all those Joe Dunceheads that came into he cavefront(shop entrance) and bought top end model comps of 250gb harddires had stoped for just one moment to think about how one tiny poxie popup program can hide in all that and how, now that they either had either hours on those malware removal site, or hours trying to back up the files somehow to reinstall their system but no, these Joes could not see this pitfall, but so Joe Duncehead, has given the goblin the comp saying "Here you are, and what you think of my jazzy computer eh?" to which the goblin is supposed to say " ..gosh, what a wonderful comp the great Ork(boss) has sold you Joe.." knowing full well that Joe uses it for the Internet, email and sudoku puzzles. ".. ah well at least in good old Rain'ile-sur-mer(Britain) they don't have all this Swiss style keeping up with the Joe Dunceheads", he thought, rain or no rain...

4)"...oh, and the goblin got so frigging fed up with Joe Duncehead's comp that I restored it..." result being: 'comp 1 - goblin 0' then. So when Joe asked for his comp back the gobling explained that he now had more free space on his harddrive than any other Joe in cuckooLand(switzerland) to which Joe smiled the lengh of one empty ear through to the other, and walked off down the street as if showing everyone just what a large empty harddrive space he had now. The great Ork behind the counter(barrier) charms the female with work like "Ma belle, the colour of this computer so matches your eyes and imagine the tropical beach where everyone would envy you then". The goblin let be knowing that she didn't care that he didn't know the first thing about what he was selling, didn't matter, she wanted more, the comp would sell and even if it worked perfectly she would still return first light to say "... please could just show me how to press the on-switch again..." she would get her money's worth and the goblin just concluded that 'shopping was lovemaking for older people', - oh and if the Ork called him over to press the 'on' switch for them it had to be done with goblin majesty and style. "... now watch carefully then please..." but they would then be chatting as the 'eye-contact thing, long pauses and deep breaths' took over, till after a few moments he would be called over yet again to do it just one more time. "...anything to please..." he thought.

[fleamailman]

5) Oh and why, the gobin wondered, were the computer mags in the newsagents always on the top shelf next to the girly ones, but always it was then: "... hi, could you reach me down a copy of computertech next to 'BigBouncybonkers' please...", the girl would then come with a brown paper bag ready and those looks that would somehow freeze fire.


7)Today the goblin was sad because the great Ork said "..thanks for really helping out this month, go ahead take something from the shelf.." as the goblin's last day there ended, he just took a USB key, and thought: "... I can take being dumped from one Malware removal school, banned from another and asked to close my threads at others but this is harder to deal with..". Anyway Rain''ile-sur-mer(Britain) tomorrow and that great wonders of wonders: Loonyville (London) and with that he knew his next post here would be from his childhood timeworp Dungford in Devon, "....enough of these Joe Dunceheads...." he thought, "...time to cut the neat freak, dress down and gorp, yes that's it..." he thought, "...oh and let's practice their english: "...Izabegoingden.." "airscowabemilking, Izabegoingden.."

[fleamailman]

"Thanks...." said the goblin who had seen the humans were in a good humor on the board at least, now that he himself had reached the little village. "... London city airport..." he concluded "....is the best way into London then, I mean bags don't end up in New York and there is now the underground direct to bank station, but perhaps I should explain in more detail then..." continued the goblin "...well first off one arrives and joins the queue at pastport control..." remembered the goblin, where one says "..IzabecomingGeneva and IzabegoingDevon..." where the nice man gives you a form to fill in, which reads:

Welcome to the United Kindom .
All Cuckooland neatfreaks are kindly reminded to leave this country as they find it and to accept that London is never going to be clean, I hereby state that I have read this statement and will follow to the letter this instuction accordingly, to be signed on the dotted line......

Next there was customs:
"...hello sir may I see you bag, did you pack it yourself, what are all the CDs then..."
"...IzabegoingDevon airszabe comps a repairing..."
"...msXP-vlk-crackedlincence,msWorkscracked, tobypasswords, reverse enginering, licence hacks, etc.,..."
"...theysabe CDs for comps a repairing..."
"... I see, no riped DVDs then, no pornstuff amongst them either I hope..."
"...no, theys ainna be pornstuff norra pornfilms like.."
"...thank you sir and welcome to London then..."
And with that our goblin was in Loonyville...

9)"...thanks.."once again the goblin knew that this was all helping the humans learn to read so he continued. Now once clear of the airport building itself, one finds oneself in the station, where London underground has gone out of its way to modernise the way it sells tickets, - yes away with that long queue infront of the ticket office then, now one just stands infront of a ticket machine and wonders where one is, where one wants to go to, which zones does that cross and what coins does the machine acept, in short, one gorps between the map, the names of the stations, the coins in ones hand oh and upwards for some if not any devine intervention, no such luck, - instead there is a man who stands by the machine saying to each and every person wishing to buy a ticket "...can I help you sir..." so the goblin explains "... Izabecoming from geneva and Izabe eating chinese in Soho and then Izabe catching the bus for Devon I be.." "...no problem, put your money in here and I will press the button for you, right, done, and here's your ticket and change then, have a nice day, next please..." a process this goblin thought of as a new-fully-autimated-whops-guess-we-forgot-about-the-human-part-again-same-as-before kind-of-thing. Anyway, boarding the train, it was good to see all the litter on the seats and floor again, and that the driver was not driving this new-type train, no infact he was asking everyone to show him their tickets just in case anyone who had got off a plane, that could understand the ticket-machine, might actually go on to fiddle the fare, anyway the goblin settled in and admired those views that this new-type train had to offer of London's Eastend building sites and junk yards set to a matching background of wondrous gray, he was lost for words and wondered if a photo would do it justice then, well that or break the camera,

[fleamailman]

 10)"...a cow cultivating cultivated culture.." sums up his lot thinks the goblin, the village has only had a cave(shop) for two years now and the new ork(new boss) is very different from the one he had in Goonville, so too were the humans, no Joe Dunceheads here. details to follow...

11)"...life is odd..." said the goblin who had just returned from a conversation with his mother who after two months had been allowed to return home from hospital, their conversation was typical of all those he had with her and at least she was well though she couldn't really be left alone for long:

"...ah, I see you're awake, would you like to get up..."
"...where's grandma..."
"...she passed away long ago..."
"...oh, and where's the other one..."
"...dad's gone up into the village to do some shopping..."
"...ah, you have lost weight..."
"...I would like to do the bed, would you like to get up..."
"...where's the doctor(dad again)..."
"...dad's gone up into the village to do some shopping..."
"...I cannot hear what you are saying, come nearer..."
"...would you like a coffee..."
"...funny that the doctor would choose to go shopping at this moment when will he be back?"
"...soon, I will go and make you a coffee then..."
She comes into the kitchen, I hand her a coffee.
"Where's the doctor..."
"...dad's gone up into the village to do some shopping..."
"...ah, you have lost weight...."
"...here's your coffee then...."
"...oh, can you drink coffee your parents must be very proud of you, where is grandma..."
"....she passed away long ago..."
"...oh, you can drink coffee your parents must be very proud of you, you have lost weight, where's the doctor..."
The goblin by now had got used to this conversation and realised that any conversation was after all better than no reaction..

[Myrtle]

OOc; Can I join in?

[fleamailman]

the goblin felt that his blog was in the wrong section but did know where he should have posted it since it wasn't role play but real life, a real life account of his time that he looked after his mother in her declining years, so he promised myrtle that he would role play on any forum that she wished him to join but that he in fact had never role played before saying "...me life is role play anyway so I should be quite good at it...", the slot looked on saying "...goblin, you promised to support the site that accepted you...", "...and so I shall slot, I always post where I can..."

[fleamailman]

11)"...now having a cave(computer shop)..." said the goblin "...in a village geared to cows is an uneasy truce at best, somehow the converts are matched by the diehards here, and the one thing that makes the natives restless is the fear that they will have to upgrade their televisions, and guess who represents this unwanted progress, yes: the new ork and his assistant goblin, - add to this that soon window98se is not going to be supported and those images of Dr. Frankenstein being chased out the village by the mob with pitchforks and torches do not seem so far fetched..."

[fleamailman]

13)As always the goblin thanks the humans for their coments but today the goblin was wondering about the new ork who was unlike any other ork he knew, in that his old ork(in the cave in Goonville) didn't know about comps, so he had hired goblins in to cover for that, something both understandable and clear. But the new ork here in Dungford was in effect a goblin too, he could build and mend comps but somehow it all stopped there, he had no interest in comps - in fact, the ork originally had been invited to Britain by the local cricket club to act as coach; moreover, he didn't have a comp at home, he didn't surf, and the sole thing he did on his comp in the cave was 'slotmachine gambling', oh and taking bets on horses on behalf of his friends and fellow cricket players.

[fleamailman]

14)"...the old lady.."explained the goblin "...who lives in the small house in front of the cave is a good friend but has just been knocked over by a reversing car..." no this time the goblin was not the driver, "...it turns out that it was someone in one of these big 'four wheel drives' who had just turned the key in the lock and the car had lurched backwards; so there she was flat on the ground with people, who had come out of their houses to help, followed by a policecar that turned up, followed by an ambulance that is, all to take her to Exeter hospital, - except that this old lady would have none of it because she feared catching something in hospital, she just kept on telling them to take her home and lie her flat on the couch; so after about an hour rangling between the old lady on the ground, the police and the ambulancemen, she was put of a wheelchair and carted down the street by the ambulanceman followed by the policeman with everyone going home..." anyway, looking at this the goblin wondered if the idea of the gentil old lady was a myth

16)The goblin wondered what is the point of being a goblin at all where village life, that is if 'life' could be attributed to a place geared to cows and where comps were seen as an unwelcome sign of an unwanted progress; worse, he feared that now he himself was becoming somehow bovine in outlook, - in fact, he said "...well if I stay here much longer I might turn into Daisy the cow..." said the cow.

[Jinmei]

00c; This is rather strange for a roleplay. What is it... exactly? 0.o

[fleamailman]

the goblin apologized to jinmei, in that he had posted this blog not knowing where else to post it,in fact it isn't a game but a diary of real events, but he promised to join in any role play game that jinmei started saying "...I think this thread will be moved to the right place when admin returns..."

[fleamailman]

17)"...well just let me rant this morning..." said the goblin "...one of the biggest problems at the moment is that my mother wants to go upstairs, and yet she broke her wrist falling down the steps in the garden, she broke her arm just falling forward on the path up to the road and now even though we put a child-gate on the bottom of the stairs she wants to go upstairs. (btw going upstairs isn't the problem, for old people it is coming downstairs, add to this that the stairs bend in the middle and that she is left handed while the railing is on the right making it easy to go up but even more dangerous coming down). Now in the case that she does get passed the gate and arrives upstairs, then my father and I have to sit her on her bottom to make sure that she sits on each step in turn. Lastly, a normal person would learn from their mistakes which doesn't happen here so each night(my shift) the battle rages and if as in this morning she gets up before my father is dressed then the problem is there in the morning too..." the goblin wondered how long this situation could continue then.

[PPIG$]

You know, there is a thread called JOURNALS. Could you please move it there? Abd also this isn't really a Typical Reality RP or any type of RP actually. Don't want to be mean just saying.
Peace!